Breathe

I. Can't. Breathe. I just got up the courage to ask the guy why he wrote I'm sorry on that poem and why he changed his mind before. And he told me. I needed to hear it, but I'm still having trouble breathing. Not from his answers, but from asking him at all. I'm glad I finally got my answers, but a part of me wants to go back to the security of not knowing...

Blaaargh-a-freakin-phlaaargh-a-mus!!!

Soo...last Friday was one month. I forgot to post. Haha.
Sigh. People suck. I believe I've posted about the guy I like. And how it's completely stupid of me to like him because he doesn't like me. Last Friday, my Big Happy Cookie Day, he was talking to me about the girl he now likes. She's a freshman, she's pretty, she's not me. Stab. In. The. Gut.
I was talking to one of my friends. She's in the same exact boat as me. She likes a guy who flirts shamelessly with her but likes her best friend. So, we started a club. :)
Anyway, my guy-I-like gave me his writing portfolio to hold on to. I read his stuff (which he'd already read in class) and finally came across the one I was looking for. My birthday poem. On my birthday, I posted about my friend who wrote me a poem for my birthday. I read it and there were parts that were scribbled out. They all hinted at him liking me. Of course...that was back before he changed his mind. And I'm probably just imagining the possibilities. :/

P.S. Sorry my last few posts have been about boys, but what do you expect?

Sad face!!! :(

So tomorrow is the last day for seniors. And it's a half day. And the rest of us still have two more weeks before we're out. :(

Upside, it's almost time for my countdown. Next Friday will be one month. I'm not really excited. It's not exactly a huge feat for me. :/

Yesterday was Mother's Day. I got to spend the day with my Mommy and Grandma(the nice one, not the she-devil I live with) :)

Aargh!!! Speaking of the she-devil...
Okay, so I'm in chemistry. Which is a JUNIOR class. I am one of the only TWO sophomores in that class AND I have one of the highest grades. An 88% B. Now, I am freaking PROUD of that B, but according to my delightful grandmother, that makes me a failure. So now, if I don't get all 48 points on this BONUS project, I will be grounded for the foreseeable future. >:|

"I'm sorry..."

^^^^^^^
That's what he wrote on my paper. As I think I've told you, I like this guy, he told my best friend he liked me, he changed his mind, he started dating this other girl, broke up with her, I had to comfort and talk to her, they got back together, and now I'm stuck pasting a smile on my face whenever I'm around them even though seeing them all happy and couply feels like I'm getting stabbed repeatedly.

So, yea, it's not exactly a pleasant experience for me. But I fake happy because, even though I'd rather drink bleach than have to watch them kiss and hug and be all cute, I want him to be happy, which he is.

But anyway, back to the real story. In Creative Writing, we have these free writes, and today's was "I will never forget you". I wrote mine about him. I mean, it COULD'VE been about anyone. But it was about him. I read it, then went to talk to one of my friends. When I came back, he'd written "I'm sorry..." underneath the poem.

I'm trying to figure out why he said that. He had no reason to apologize. And I'm talking to him right now, but I'm too scared to ask. :/

Forever

It has been FOREVER since I've posted. And I feel bad about that. But, I'm back now. :)

I still don't have much to say, but I thought I'd better post again before too much time has passed. By the way, I'd like to say an early Happy Cinco de Mayo! May 5...I may never understand the importance of this holiday, but it is a holiday nonetheless, and shall be celebrated as such. :D

In case I haven't told you (I could go back and check, but I'm too lazy), I am single again. It's a long bloody story so I won't go into it. But, May 21 will be Month One of Singleness. :)

That's pretty much all I have to say.....Mother's Day is this Sunday and I get to see my Mommy. Yay :)

Adios!