They would rather me go to a college costing forty thousand a year than one costing thirty thousand simply because it's closer. I swear, it's like they're afraid I won't come back. Granted, no part of me WANTS to come back, but I will anyway. It's insanity. I'm hoping I can dredge up enough charm to change their minds, but if I can't, I'll have to come up with another way. I just can't stay here. I need to get out, go somewhere no one knows my name, have a chance to be myself for once in my life. But I can't do that four or five hours away. There's too much of a chance that I'll run into someone I know. I can't have that. The school I wanted was a three day trip away, but it was ivy league and I knew it wasn't happening. The school I want is fifteen hours away, which sounds pretty reasonable to me. Some kids go across the country to escape; I'm just going across the region.
Anyway, I'm going to fight this. I have to win.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Aha!
I remembered!
I completely missed the anniversary of this blog! It was February 4. Yea, I'm a little late. So anyway, happy anniversary!
I completely missed the anniversary of this blog! It was February 4. Yea, I'm a little late. So anyway, happy anniversary!
Always Managing to Botch Things Up
Haha so I was looking through old posts and realized that I never corrected Pookah's gender. Pookah's a boy. My bad.
This afternoon we all went to the Boardwalk (outdoor shopping mall type deal). It was A and her boyfriend, P and her should-be boyfriend, and me and my brother. P was kind of upset I think. She wouldn't hang out with us at all; just kept standing around with her should-be. But at least she looked happier with him.
I think I'm getting over my freakishly insane jealousy of A because we were laughing today like nothing was wrong. I'm not out of the woods, yet; I'm still feeling it. It's disgusting and terrible and dumb, but I can't seem to help it. She's great at everything. She can sing, dance, act, write, and everyone instantly loves her. I used to look at her and start to get jealous, but I made it go away by thinking, "Hey, at least I have writing." But then she decided that she wanted to write, too. Guess what? She's better. And on top of that, everyone instantly loves her. Children, other teenagers, adults...everyone. But, I talked to her last night. I hope it'll help.
While I was typing that whole mess, I completely forgot what I was going to say next. Oh well. It'll come to me later. Buenas noches!
This afternoon we all went to the Boardwalk (outdoor shopping mall type deal). It was A and her boyfriend, P and her should-be boyfriend, and me and my brother. P was kind of upset I think. She wouldn't hang out with us at all; just kept standing around with her should-be. But at least she looked happier with him.
I think I'm getting over my freakishly insane jealousy of A because we were laughing today like nothing was wrong. I'm not out of the woods, yet; I'm still feeling it. It's disgusting and terrible and dumb, but I can't seem to help it. She's great at everything. She can sing, dance, act, write, and everyone instantly loves her. I used to look at her and start to get jealous, but I made it go away by thinking, "Hey, at least I have writing." But then she decided that she wanted to write, too. Guess what? She's better. And on top of that, everyone instantly loves her. Children, other teenagers, adults...everyone. But, I talked to her last night. I hope it'll help.
While I was typing that whole mess, I completely forgot what I was going to say next. Oh well. It'll come to me later. Buenas noches!
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Opinion #5
Suicide.
Is it right? Is it wrong?
Some people will tell you that yes, it is wrong. It is the ultimate act of selfishness and you will go to Hell. But I don't think so.
It's true that 1 Corinthians 3:17 says, "If anyone destroys God's temple, God will destroy him; for God's temple is sacred, and you are that temple." But what if:
What if you were terminally ill? what if your family was wasting their time and money trying to care for you, knowing that you were going to die? What if you're in so much pain and it's never going to stop? Is it still wrong?
I don't think suicide is wrong. Don't get me wrong, I'm not advocating it. But, coming from someone who's been on that road, I think it's your choice. You should get to decide whether your life is worth living.
Is it right? Is it wrong?
Some people will tell you that yes, it is wrong. It is the ultimate act of selfishness and you will go to Hell. But I don't think so.
It's true that 1 Corinthians 3:17 says, "If anyone destroys God's temple, God will destroy him; for God's temple is sacred, and you are that temple." But what if:
What if you were terminally ill? what if your family was wasting their time and money trying to care for you, knowing that you were going to die? What if you're in so much pain and it's never going to stop? Is it still wrong?
I don't think suicide is wrong. Don't get me wrong, I'm not advocating it. But, coming from someone who's been on that road, I think it's your choice. You should get to decide whether your life is worth living.
Opinion #4
"Bailout & Bull"
I recently watched a program with my English class called "Bailout & Bull". This is basically my review.
"...worst since the Great Depression." -Obama
"crisis... unprecedented." -Obama
He's saying this economical crisis is worse than the Great Depression. Then, he says it's unprecedented. Maybe our president needs to go back to school because the last time I checked, "unprecedented" means we haven't seen anything like it before. So which is it, Mr. Pres?
"...worse than the Great Depression..."
Bull. During the Great Depression, unemployment rates were 25%. In 2008, they were 8.7%. Of course, no one remembers twenty seven years ago when the unemployment rates were 11%.
So what is the miracle solution that will save us all? Stimulus. Yes, in order to get us out of debt, we will spend more money. Because that makes perfect sense. According to the experts, that's dumb. Every economy goes through these ups and downs. It's like the checks and balances of life.
So what's the right thing to do? Turn and face the storm head on? Or keep running until we fall flat on our faces?
I recently watched a program with my English class called "Bailout & Bull". This is basically my review.
"...worst since the Great Depression." -Obama
"crisis... unprecedented." -Obama
He's saying this economical crisis is worse than the Great Depression. Then, he says it's unprecedented. Maybe our president needs to go back to school because the last time I checked, "unprecedented" means we haven't seen anything like it before. So which is it, Mr. Pres?
"...worse than the Great Depression..."
Bull. During the Great Depression, unemployment rates were 25%. In 2008, they were 8.7%. Of course, no one remembers twenty seven years ago when the unemployment rates were 11%.
So what is the miracle solution that will save us all? Stimulus. Yes, in order to get us out of debt, we will spend more money. Because that makes perfect sense. According to the experts, that's dumb. Every economy goes through these ups and downs. It's like the checks and balances of life.
So what's the right thing to do? Turn and face the storm head on? Or keep running until we fall flat on our faces?
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Sorry
Sorry I haven't posted in a while. Although, I guess that's one of the good things about no one reading this stuff. I don't have to post all the time. I actually have a new poem or two and two subjects I want to post on. But, my notebook's in the car and there's a kitten lying on top of me. So, I'll do it later. For now, I'd like to take a moment to catch you nonexistent people on what's been up with me.
I broke up with my boyfriend. I told everyone it just wasn't working out, but really, I think I just got bored. That sounds awful, I know, but who says I'm so great anyway?
I'm working on my self esteem. I don't know how it's working so far, but judging from the way I currently feel, I'd say not so well.
I feel like I have almost no friends. I have A, when she wants me. But most of the time, I feel like she's leaving me out. (There will be a poem in there about that.) I have P, and lately it seems like she's the only one I really have. She's actually the only one who still talks to me outside from the basic, fake, "What's up?" I generally get from anyone else. I have my brother, but...he's my brother. I know I'll always have him. There's D, but I really only talk to him at school. B hugs me, but that's it. K eats lunch with us, but that's it. G still ignores me, but I don't even care about him anymore. And T was a great friend to listen to, but I'm starting to realize how much of a jerk he really is. And there's Blake and Andrew. I actually wish they were here. Why is it that the people who actually talk to me and seem to care DON'T live anywhere near me. Sigh. (Sorry most of them are just initials, but in case they might actually read this, I'd prefer it if they didn't know I was talking about them.)
Pookah is the cutest demon cat you've ever seen. He bites and scratches almost nonstop, but he's always happy to see me and he always runs to greet me. I love him to bits.
I guess I'm just feeling crazy again. I'll see if I can get out to the car to get my notebook, but I make no promises.
I broke up with my boyfriend. I told everyone it just wasn't working out, but really, I think I just got bored. That sounds awful, I know, but who says I'm so great anyway?
I'm working on my self esteem. I don't know how it's working so far, but judging from the way I currently feel, I'd say not so well.
I feel like I have almost no friends. I have A, when she wants me. But most of the time, I feel like she's leaving me out. (There will be a poem in there about that.) I have P, and lately it seems like she's the only one I really have. She's actually the only one who still talks to me outside from the basic, fake, "What's up?" I generally get from anyone else. I have my brother, but...he's my brother. I know I'll always have him. There's D, but I really only talk to him at school. B hugs me, but that's it. K eats lunch with us, but that's it. G still ignores me, but I don't even care about him anymore. And T was a great friend to listen to, but I'm starting to realize how much of a jerk he really is. And there's Blake and Andrew. I actually wish they were here. Why is it that the people who actually talk to me and seem to care DON'T live anywhere near me. Sigh. (Sorry most of them are just initials, but in case they might actually read this, I'd prefer it if they didn't know I was talking about them.)
Pookah is the cutest demon cat you've ever seen. He bites and scratches almost nonstop, but he's always happy to see me and he always runs to greet me. I love him to bits.
I guess I'm just feeling crazy again. I'll see if I can get out to the car to get my notebook, but I make no promises.
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