Opinion #1

Homosexuality.
What's wrong with it? Why is being gay so frowned upon in our society?
My guard instructor is gay. I've talked to him, hung out with him, even met his boyfriend. And there's nothing even slightly wrong with him.
Two of my friends were talking about what they would do if their kid was gay. They said they would disown them and kick them out.
How could someone do that? How could someone be so cruel? How can they call themselves Christian when they can't accept someone for who they are?
Well that conversation started a snowball effect with me. I began asking everyone I knew the question. What would they do if they're child was gay?
The answers appalled me. Only two people agreed with me. Everyone else saw homosexuality as something hideous to be shied away from.
I can't imagine it. If my child was gay, I would support them and continue to love them unconditionally. If we expect to be accepted for who we are, then who are we to judge so harshly? What gives us the right to discriminate anyone else?
I just don't understand society..

Well don't I sound bad...

So I just looked over all of my posts. They all seem to be about boys, stupid fights, or other depressing awfulness. I sound like either a b word or one of those girls who's half of a nauseatingly cute couples. I've always promised I wouldn't be like that. This blog wasn't supposed to be about that.
So now I'm making a promise to myself. I'm going to be happy. Granted, there will probably be frustrated, sad, angry, and even some cute posts. I'm a girl. What do you expect? But I'd like if they were actually about something. My views. My beliefs. My opinions.
So starting now, I'm going to be happier. :)

Looking up. Sort of..

I guess things are looking up. I have great friends, a wonderful boyfriend, and a family I can actually get along with. So why am I not happy?

My friends and I worked everything out. My boyfriend treats me well. I haven't fought with my family in awhile. I guess I'm just conflicted.
One of my guy friends is being nice to me for the first time...ever. He actually talks to me, he hasn't hit me in a few weeks, and he actually gave me a hug. He never talks to me unless he needs something, and even then I'm a last resort. So why the sudden change?
I think my relationship problem may spring from my lack of communication skills. I just get scared and want to run away, but I know I can't. I have to be a big girl now.

Ah, Thanksgiving has passed and Christmas is just around the corner. I can't wait. I love Christmas. The decorations, the cold, just the entire mood Christmas holds is amazing. If I were one of those bloggers who gets involved with they're readers, I might ask what you want for Christmas. But, then I have to remember that I don't have any readers. I know I could fix that, but I kind of like the security of knowing no one reads my thoughts. That's what this is; my mind poured into this webpage, all for no one to read.

Ohmygoodness...

It has been a long time. A very long time indeed. I don't even remember my last post. Sorry. :/

You know what sucks? Having a problem with communication. Because it tends to cause problems with your friends, family, and/or boyfriend.

You know what else sucks? Hyping yourself up for the biggest game of the year. And losing.

Or having one of your best friends stop speaking to you because she can't have you all to yourself.

Or having a billion different people all pulling at you to do something for them.

Or having every single one of your friends viewing you as a personal taxi service. Except that you don't get paid.

Or having your dad forget about you. And not even apologize.

Or having your mom show up to every football game/band event drunk. And getting arrested for it.

Or having your band director pull you aside to talk to you about your drunk mother.


That's a lot of suck, my friends. A whole lot of suck just chillin right there. Such is life, I suppose.

On the bright side, band got grand champs last week at one of our competitions. The other...well we didn't expect much there. And they didn't let us down, haha.

And it's been a month and a half with this guy. I hope it lasts. But, you know what I say about hope.

I guess I'm being cynical today, but I've been like this since last night. I'll try to post more. But then again, who's going to read it anyway?

Finally!

Apparently blogger hated me for a while, but we're all good now. :D
Tomorrow's the twenty-first. Not that it matters anymore. My countdown is over.
We're doing well, I guess. I mean, I really like him and all that jazz, but sometimes that panicky anxious feeling shows up and I start to feel trapped and I have a strong urge to break up with him. And he doesn't even do anything. He's wonderful. I just can't help it. And I can't tell him about it because I don't want to scare him. Which sounds lame, I know, but it's true. And besides, the feelings pass. Qwertyuiopasdfghjklzxcvbnm!!!!
Anyway. I'm in love. With a school. I started looking at colleges recently and I really want to go to Brown. It's amazing. Great academics, new people, ALL FOUR SEASONS, and it's far away from here. I. Am. In. Love. <3

P.S.

I just realized that I was bitter in my last post and figured I should clear that up.

1. My great grandmother did pass away. Two weeks ago. And I swear, if I have to hear, "I'm so sorry for your loss." Or, "She was a wonderful lady and you're in my thoughts." one more time, I'm going to lose it. I. Hate. Sympathy. I mean, it's okay the first day or so. But two weeks later? No thanks.

2. My dog did die. Last Friday. Sad. I miss her. But I'm still a cat person so I'm not too torn up about it. Which makes me feel bad.

3. I talked to my best friend about her ditching me. She said she'll try to do better.

4. The guy? He got to know what it feels like to be forgotten. He decided he'd rather be friends.

5. When I realized he wasn't worth my time, I met some new people. One of which is now my boyfriend.

6. Homecoming is too far away to even bother with.

7. My smile is a little less than fake now. :)

Five months and twelve days: The end

This past weekend we went on a band trip to Dallas. We did really well for it being so early in the season. Sunday we went to Six Flags where I hung out with my BOYFRIEND. Yes, you read right.
But it feels like my happiness is coming at a price. My friend and her boyfriend might have broken up. Not because of me. I just feel kind of guilty for being happy when she's so depressed.

Among other things, I love watching old movies from when I was a kid. And I love October. It marks the beginning of fall and it brings Halloween. And most of our contests are in October. And the leaves change color. And I think it just might be my favorite month.

Ooh! I got my ACT scores back. Now keep in mind that I was sick that day and it was my first time taking it and I really didn't try that hard. I GOT A 26!!! I'm excited. I have to take it again, though. And again and again and again. At least until I reach the thirties. :D

And now back to fluffy pillows, soft Six Flags animals, and old Disney Channel movies (Halloweentown) Adios, mi amigos. Hasta luego!